This is the first of two episodes on the constitutional theory of originalism. This time we look at originalism from the inside; next time we offer broader criticisms. We spend a fair amount of time defining originalism's various versions and distinguish between academic originalism and originalism as practiced by the courts. In the end, we argue, academic originalism is difficult though not impossible to defend, but judicial originalism fails miserably at doing what its proponents claim orignalism does--keep judges from imposing their personal policy preferences in the guise of interpreting the Constitution.